The Independent Elderly --Tips for Caring Family and Friends

That Christmas Card List

2008-12-08T11:24:00.000-08:00

Faced with the daunting task of sending out the annual cards? They are wonderful to receive but as you grow older, it is more difficult to keep the custom going. Personally, I have always sent a large number of cards and received a large number as well. It is great to get the latest family photos but the best is hearing what you have been doing this last year.

I welcome the newsletters. So I am taking a cue from my friends who now use this way to up-date me on their families and activities.

The holiday stationery available fits almost any category you may choose. If typing on Word or a typeweriter is somewhat taxing, ask one of the grandchildren or a young friend to get your message onto a blank page.

Pop it into your printer or take it to your local stationey store where they will print it for you at a reasonable rate. The only addressing is the envelope and printing is nice for this. It is a warm greeting to send or receive.

Merry Christmas!

Ho Ho Ho

2008-12-08T11:10:00.000-08:00

Wondering what to get Grandma or Grandpa for a little gift?

How about a new bedside clock? Not a small size. Must be large enough that numerals on the face are easily read. Be sure the alarm is also easy to adjust. It's amazing how these small things are just what we need replacing and what a joy to have one simple to use.

Larger faces on a watch are just as important. That is in case you are looking for either a pocket or wrist watch. It would be a happy gift.

Just remember - no "stuff". We still have enough of that to clear away.

The Idea For A Lifetime

2008-11-07T11:26:00.000-08:00

A few days ago I read an article in our local daily that resonated with me for its wisdom, common sense, and living life to the fullest. That's a lot to be said for a newspaper in this day and age. It was about creating a personal safety net in this changing world of ours.

It is based on the book, Personal Safety Nets: Getting Ready for Life's Inevitable Changes and Challenges
, written by life coach John Gibson and Judy Pigott, an educator and philanthropist. The book will help each of us to set up a network of people and resources that provide peace of mind for the rest of our lives.

Cecelia Goodnow of the Seattle Post-Intelligencer is to be commended on the article.

Relta

Check out my book:The Independent Elderly: Tips for Caring Friends & Family

Those Gift Cards

2008-11-04T15:16:00.000-08:00

Cheers for the person who thought of the gift cards!

As you grow older, there is less and less you want for gifts. You already have a lot of stuff. Many times you have no place to display a gift. Your wardrobe has changed and you are the only one who knows exactly what you want or need to wear - and we're not telling unless you ask.

A GIFT CARD - What an idea! It could be to a neighborhood restaurant for morning coffee or lunch or even Sunday breakfast. It could be for a play or musical event. How about a baseball game or two? Or the local market? Try the Post Office. See how long the list grows?

The cards are available for most any service so you can't go wrong.

And what a relief for all concerned.

Never Leave Home Without . . . .

2008-10-28T18:46:00.000-07:00

The way the world is going these days is a constant reminder that each of us is responsible for our own safety net. Consider how many accidents, or falls on the street, that you hear about on a daily basis. Many create a problem, especially if medical care is required, or a death occurs, since nothing is found on the accident victim to identify them or whom to call in just such an emergncy.

Here are some simple reminders how you can help yourself and those who are trying to help you when some emergency arises:

(1) Always carry an identification card with your address and who is to be notified
concerning the emergency. Include your doctor.

(2) Have a list of medications, both prescription and supplements, since these can
help the medics or doctors in assisting you without harm.

(3) It may also be helpful to note a preferred hospital or medical center.

(4) If you have a cell phone, always carry when you leave home. If you should fall
when out for a stroll in the neighborhood and no one comes to your aid, you can
call for help. Most phones have a 911 connection.

(5) Remember your glasses, the keys, and a bottle of water!

Don't leave home without these essentials!

Getting In and Out of a Car

2008-10-24T13:55:00.000-07:00

It's not as simple as it sounds. It can lead to falling, perhaps injuries. And it all relates to parking.

Passenger cars are the most dangerous. So here is a bit of advice. When parking a car, site it far enough from the curb so that feet can be placed firmly on the street. Stepping up onto the curb is not difficult. This easy tip lets the passenger enter or exit a car with dignity and health intact.

When the vehicle is a SUV, truck, or other larger car, the process is reversed. Pull completely to the curb so the passenger can step down onto the curb. It is a good idea when these vehicles are the mode of transportation to take along a sturdy step stool. It will be safer to get aboard.

Some cities and states have laws on their books that require a car must be no more than 12 inches from the curb when parking. This is about right except for those who wear exceptionally large shoe sizes. But if the stay is only long enough to deliver a passenger, you are probably safe in using a little more space. It is really only when the car is parked for a longer length of time that you are disobeying the law.<

Holding Hands

2008-10-20T18:43:00.000-07:00

It's the memories - and the losses - that haunt us as we grow older.

One of the things I miss the most is taking a walk with my husband. We always held hands as we wandered the neighborhood on an evening stroll. We met up with people on the other side of the block or down the street, stopping to chat, still holding hands. Friends noticed, sometimes teasing, sometime envying us.

Even now, after 26 years alone, when a couple passes by, swinging hands, I am tempted to catch up with them, take the gentleman's free hand, and continue the walk, holding hands.

I wonder what they would do.

A Real Chore: Changing the Bed

2008-10-16T14:44:00.000-07:00

There are times when some part of living alone is not so great. Simple household chores are no longer simple. One of the most difficult household duties is changing the bed linen. Men and women complain equally about this chore. It threatens their independence.

Here is my method: do it in steps. Pull the bedding off a piece at a time. Then sit down and get your breath while sipping some of the morning coffee. Go back and put the clean fitted lower sheet in place. Sit down again. Breathe deeply. Now back to the top covers replaced one at a time, or however strength permits.

Sound silly? Well, of course. But much better than putting your weak muscles to the test.

A solution: arrange a set day and time for a member of the family, or a friend, to help you. Or perhaps you are fortunate to have a cleaning lady on a regular schedule who can relieve you of that particular chore!

Dancing Men Wanted

2008-10-13T17:01:00.002-07:00

A friend, in her mid-80s, recently moved into a lovely assisted living situation. She has a large two bedroom unit which permits her to have an office/computer room.
Unlike most of us, she is savvy about the computer.

So far, her only complaint about her new home is the lack of men partners at the dances they have each week. There are some couples who live there but the ratio of single women to single men is about fifteen to one - or so it seems to her.

Of course, at our age, most of us don't qualify for sessions like the television stars, not being particularly skilled at the South American moves. But we are still pretty good at the fox trot, the quickstep, the fancy waltzes. These are not particularly spectacular when your partner is another woman!

She would like to propose to the management that they hire some younger men - gigolos, in fact - who could come in at least once a month and dance a couple of hours, making a few old ladies happy. She suggests that maybe college fraternities could use this as a fund-raiser, especially if they offer the same service to other assisted living communities.

Any one interested?

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The Danger of Pills

2008-10-13T14:56:00.000-07:00

Look at the handful of pills you are taking - prescriptions and supplements. Do you really understand what each is supposed to be doing for your body? Or do you, like many of us, just go on the doctor's instructions and never ask questions?

Do you read the instructions on the bottle or box? Do you listen to the pharmacist's instructions? What kind of relationship do you have with the pharmacist?

Do you take the medications on a regular time schedule? And stick to it? Skipping dosages can be harmful, perhaps even deadlly.

Fortunately, for me, my pharmacist has become my friend. I call him "Dr. Dave". He always has time to explain, even question on occasion, the doctor's new prescription. Before filling it, he may call the doctor to clarify his questioning.

Before you overdose yourself, start reading the instructions. Ask the questions. Tell your doctor immediately if you are having any reaction to the new dosage. Be prepared to go to an emergency room if necessary.

Stay alive!

Doctors. Attorneys, Other Professionals Calling It Quits?

2008-10-02T11:26:00.001-07:00

Has a doctor, an attorney, or accountant suddenly announced retirement?
Do these pronouncements put fear into your heart? It might be a medical practitioner suddenly announces he/she will no longer handle Medicare. That certainly creates fear. What to do? What to do?

If so far you have avoided making such decisions, gather the family and friends around, and start asking questions. Who is willing to take the elderly on? The medical profession is rapidly changing. Many new doctors do not even consider opening their own private practice, opting instead to go into the
Security offered by many hospitals willing to set up offices where a doctor may have private patients but is also available to the hospital. Lots of questions about this procedure and we don’t really know how it all works out but it is a challenge to those who want to keep their doctor.

Attorneys can also leave you with a feeling of distress. Who will handle the affairs – the wills, the inheritances, and life and death decisions? Many have the same law firm that has handled family business through more than one generation.

Now where do you go? Ask questions. Get references that can be checked. Put your fears to rest. Do it now!

Any comments? Please share.

Too Long Hair and Scraggly Beards

2008-10-02T11:10:00.000-07:00

On the street, in a bus, at church, wherever you turn there are older women with gray hair hanging half way down their backs. And then there are the men with long hair curling up over their shoulders plus scraggly beards, not neatly trimmed.

Don’t they realize how much older they look?

But then, thinking about it a little more, I realized that there were probably some reasons for the look. I know that some comes from those same fumbling fingers and shaking hands that makes controlling scissors or razors a hazard. Then there are the costs of hair cuts and stylists. That tells me there are many who don’t like their looks, but don’t know how to go about changing so they can care for hair and face themselves.

Short hair, for instance, isn’t flattering to everyone. Every face needs a frame so the hair cut should enhance that face. It is easier to care for when you know what is best. Bald heads are sexy. It enhances the eyes tremendously. Beards are cool, as well.

Maybe there is a family member with a talent for style, especially in the grandchild area. There are schools for training stylists where costs are very nominal, sometimes free if you would like to serve as a model for the student. Be creative in your own mind. Don’t be bashful asking for help. You will be surprised at the solutions that open up for you.

THROWING OUT SHOES DAY

2008-10-01T11:02:00.000-07:00

Today is finally the day. I am going through my shoes and throwing them out. Not without some regrets, of course, since like most women, I love shoes. But when it comes to a broken leg, or maybe my neck, it's time.

What finally brought this on? A family gathering this weekend where my "dress up" shoes failed me. One flipped off as I was coming downstairs and threw me forward. The stair rail and a ready arm saved me from going headfirst down the flight of stairs.

I've known for some time that poorly fitting shoes were a hazard. I just didn't want to address this fact. It's true, feet change as you grow older. Arches relax and feet widen. You find each foot takes a different size. You no longer have any idea what size you should be wearing. You find, as I have, a shoe can be life threatening.

So today I will end up with perhaps a couple of pairs that I can wear without disabling myself. I hope the pile I am accumulating will find a good home.

So you find, as I have, a shoe can be life threatening.

Fumbling Fingers

2008-09-26T11:51:00.000-07:00

It’s called “frustration” folks. Don’t equate it with “anger”. It is what is experienced when buttons can no longer fit into buttonholes, when it is impossible to get the cover off a jar of jam, when food storage bags can’t be unzipped. Get the picture? Certainly feel the frustration.

And you may be only 75 years old!

Of course, there are many things worse in life. Man or woman, it is difficult to deal with the frustration of trying to get a shirt or blouse on, and you find you need to have larger buttons and buttonholes. Then you set the jam jar aside waiting for the next visitor. Those kitchen shears become the handiest tool in the house when you need to cut the paper in the cereal box to get to the cereal.

The list can be long. It’s the thought of losing strength in the fingers that frightens. So you learn to compensate using other ways besides those recalcitrant fingers. Fore instance, spread the garment out and button up before putting on. Be sure to have kitchen shears – they are handy for many other problems, Don’t be afraid to ask someone to open the jars.

No one can read your mind. So just ask!

Loving? Sex? At 70 - 80 - 90 years? Why not?

2008-09-26T11:15:00.000-07:00

A recent article in the local newspaper on the absurdities of seniors dating,
or even having affairs, opened my eyes to how little is understood about our aging populace.. We are the same people we always were – just a bit slower. Remember, the flame may dim but it never goes out. Just ask those who had a good marriage or a long time commitment.

I mentioned this to a young journalist who backed away, saying “I don’t want to know what goes on in my grandparents bedroom – not even my parents.” Well, how did she get here?

Not all of us are looking for a bedroom experience. But it would be nice to hold
hands, or get a peck on the cheek from the other sex occasionally. The memories linger.